ODE TO THE BURTONS

What will we do without the Burtons? What will our lives be like? How will Camas survive without their hilarity? How will Nordstrom Rack’s doors remain open? (Kristen and Scarlette, it’s all up to you now…oh, let’s admit it, Shawn too!)

There are so many things that they have given us.

Kendra made sure to leave the largest possible carbon footprint that she could, now another town gets those plastic bags and gasoline fumes.

For the nod of agreement that went through the congregation when Mike Convey was announced as counselor to the Bishop, and the gasp of shock and awe when they announced Bruce—you will forever be remembered.

We need your stories! How many people have put their child’s finger in a ziplock and driven to the hospital?

The question is: will some lucky guy be at the urinal beside Bruce in Kentucky and get a commentary on the great quality of Gap socks---that’s a lasting first impression for Russ if ever there was.

What will we do without Kendra—from being the BEST enrichment leader with the kookiest committee(besides me of course) to the one and only semi-compassionate service leader—Prune Hill ward will be at a loss.

Maybe Bruce will beat his record with the Camas dry cleaner and some lucky dry cleaner in the east will get 58 of his shirts at once to launder.

It’s not fair that Kentucky is getting an awesome kid who makes faces on the eggs in the carton…and all we get is the d$#% rain.

Whether it’s scout trips, business trips or providing service to others, Bruce seems to run into a higher than average number of people pooping in strange circumstances—you can't put a price tag on that!

Perhaps we should warn Bruce’s new ward leaders. If you have him come on scout trips, understand that you’re not adding one more leader to supervise, but one more kid to manage.

From laying down the law that frappuccino IS coffee, to making your very own “fancy pants”, you’re going to be missed and those Louisville people don’t know how lucky they are.

I mean honestly, how many people do YOU know who take a year off of work to manage their friends on Facebook.